The last few weeks have been very interesting...and to those who know me well, that means I am still processing.  October started with great anticipation and fun as usual because I love fall and it happens to be my birthday!  The next day was to turn into a three week ordeal for my son.  Andrew our 15 year old played football in the park with some friends and got some scratches from someone's cleats.  The cuts seem so insignificant now in hindsight, but at the time I thought to be safe I would use some topical antiseptic.  I bought a iodine tincture sold over the counter at the drugstore  about a year ago when my husband Jeff had his crash on his bicycle.  I never used it but the date was still good, until 2013 actually.  I decided that since it was close to 11pm when I was cleaning Andrew's ankle which I would find out later that he had injured at 3pm that day, that the extra precaution of antiseptic was indeed a good idea.  Most people know that it only takes a small opening, dirt, and a few hours to grow a problem like infection.  So as the mom/nurse in charge I reached for the extra in treating these 4 small cuts/scrapes.  I put the iodine tincture to the areas that were in need, left ankle and achilles.  I put the iodine on and bandaged him up and sent him to bed.  About 20 minutes passed and he asked me to come talk to him.  My son said the cuts were stinging.  I told him some of that was normal and to leave it.  Another 20 minutes went by and he was in tears and in anguish, the ankle area was burning him terribly.  I asked him to take a shower and wash off the iodine and see if that made him feel better.  It did not.  I asked him to put his foot in a tub filled with cool water and let it soak.  Which he did, and it did nothing.  His leg was burning.  It was around 12:30am when I got online to find out why he was burning so bad.  What I saw 30 pages into Google was what would turn out to be exactly what would follow.
Andrew's leg would burn for 3 days!  I watched it go from the stained orange that iodine gives to an ashy gray, to an angry red to a bubbly "melty" look that would eventually require burn treatment.  The iodine I thought would protect Andrew from infection caused second degree burns.  Andrew missed school, we spent 8 hours thus far in doctor's offices with more to come next week, he lost his spot on the football team he has worked for since last August, he could not walk on his leg for 4 days, we spent $800 dollars so far just in doctor visits and first aid supplies.  He had to take antibiotics as his leg turned red indicating infection, and benadryl in case this was an allergic response.
This week will be spent doing a patch test to rule out a hypersensitivity immune response to iodine.  I had to ask for the doctor who treated him for chemical burn to refer us to an allergist so we could do the necessary testing to find out if he is super allergic to iodine or not.  After meeting with the allergist it seems he is suspicious of the contents of the bottle of iodine tincture which is labeled as 2.4% iodine, alcohol and salt.  The allergy testing will consist of a week long patch test to rule it out.  In the meantime, I have called the company to ask them to test the contents of the product and to recall the product if indeed it is not mixed right.  I hope my son is not allergic.  I hope the pharmacy's product is not to blame either for that would mean there is a whole batch of liquid iodine tincture at CVS that is poison.
The anguish, fear, guilt, pain, loss of sleep, wages, etc., has fueled me to write this post.  
I felt an immense amount of guilt that I was the one who had used this product that produced such a horrific ordeal.  Even more frustrating was the voice that said, "You sure you want to use this?"  Which is what I heard before I used the iodine, to which I pulled back at the time and decided that yes, I thought it best to fight any bugs due to the length of time it was left full of dirt and grass from the field.  My guides, or God voice...you know the voice you hear when you are being guided...asked me if I was sure.  Again I did it anyways.  The 5th of October I sat in anguish with loads of guilt, and frustration with myself and that voice I heard.  I sat in quiet, internally asking, "WHY!!??"  
And then I heard, "This is the lesser of the two, we have not forsaken you."  To which I said, "What?"  And I have to say here that this is where I began to struggle even more as my vision unfolded before my eyes.  I saw like a movie playing in front of my eyes my son in a white car as a passenger get into an auto accident to which he needed surgery where he was painted with iodine as is normal in hospitals, and the burns that followed would prove to be fatal.  As I sat there I felt as if I could not move nor shut off the movie.  I also felt as if the movie I was seeing was truth.  I have experienced this in my life many times about future events.  But this particular vision was one that would leave me emotional and heavily burdened.  
If there is anything that I have learned in the last couple years it'is this...how you change the picture.  I started to envision angels of protection around Andrew.  I consciously sent him waves of love and health. I started to tell people about my vision and fears, enlisting the help of friends to send love and protection to Andrew.  I shared the story with his older brother who said he would send him the patron saint of transportation.  
This might be a good time to mention that October 6th Andrew got his driver's permit AND he has just finished 3 consecutive days of driving lessons with Drive America.  You know as a mom it is a weird feeling to have your child picked up by a stranger to drive around town for two hours where by law he hasn't actually logged any practice behind the wheel yet!  What a stupid law!  After my vision about my son the last thing I felt good about was him being in a car with a stranger.  And so back to changing pictures or energy or outcomes whatever the terms you can accept...prayer, love, positive thoughts, enlisting the help of others (when two or more are gathered...), being a conscious creator can change what may seem to be a storm into calm ease. 
Andrew missed 23 days of football, endured 7 days of pain, 20 days of bandage changes 2 times a day and struggled with the realization that this has changed his life.  
As for me I am still processing the emotions around this month.  I am greatful my son has healed beautifully and is back to football.  I am respectful of the voice within.  I am learning to accept the responsibility of seeing and knowing.  Like in the movie "hereafter" Matt Damon plays a psychic who denies his abilities because he feels it is a curse to see people's stories...I feel the weight of responsibility that comes.  Like the movie, I have struggled with the feeling of being alone and being misunderstood.  This is what keeps most stories like mine quiet.  This kind of subject is highly debated and evokes at times vehement fears and rejection.  Clint Eastwood is brilliant.  I wish he would have been more committed to his story in "hereafter" it felt unfinished.  Like my story it creates questions,  perhaps that was his intention.
All I know is I appreciate my God's love and protection.  I appreciate my loving friends and family.  I appreciate myself.  
And for those of you out there that want to change your picture...believe, ask for help, surround yourself with love, and allow space for hope.
Love and light to all.